What is Swinging?

Swinging is a form of recreational social sex between consenting adults. Swinging can take a variety of different forms. Although single women are generally welcome at swinging events, the degree to which single men are accepted varies from event to event.
Female bisexuality is generally accepted in the swinging community, the degree to which male bisexuality is accepted also varies from event to event. (In other words, it's always good to ask)
Swing clubs and groups can be "on-premises" (which means that couples may interact sexually with others at that event) or "off-premises" (which means that couples would generally go back to the home or hotel room of other couples for sex, after deciding to do so at the event). Newspapers and magazines which carry personal ads for swingers also exist.


General hints for enjoyable Swinging

In the context of swinging, "couples" need not be married. They should, however, have at least a little history together and familiarity with each other’s emotional needs, and be comfortable approaching others as a "couple." The general rule of thumb is that swinging works best when couples view swinging as an enhancement to their existing sexual relationship. As one would expect, good communication is critical in any attempt at swinging as a couple. There are many different forms that swinging may take, and whichever one you choose is fine as long as you and your partner are clear about what you are doing and why.
Sex has the potential to be an emotionally charged area, and the pleasures that may be found in swinging can generally be reached only when both partners are sensitive to each others' needs, and put their partner's comfort first. From a more practical point of view, there will always be another party, another personal ad, another dance, there may not be another chance to salvage an exploration into swinging if one partner becomes overwhelmed in "the garden of delights" and forgets to treat his or her primary partner with sensitivity and respect.

It's important to keep in mind that swinging is primarily a SOCIAL activity. The ordinary social customs of meeting people and initiating a conversation are really not that different than at any other type of social gathering, and the process by which acquaintances become close friends is not that different either. The key social traits that tend to be appreciated in the swinging community are responsibility, friendliness, flirtatiousness, open-mindedness, and most importantly stability with regard to one's primary relationship. As is the case with almost all human social endeavors, if you already know people in a particular community you'll probably be happier if you attend your first few events with these people so they can introduce you to others. However, waiting a little while and watching how others behave is also a good idea, as it is in almost any new social situation.

Common courtesy, of course, is as welcome in the swinging community as it is in any other community; we're all just people, after all. There are several different styles of swinging which you may see in the swinging community.
Some people may prefer not to be around when their partner is having sex with someone else, while others may insist on it. The term "same room sex" refers to trading partners just for the purposes of heavy petting and then switching back to one's primary partner for any actual sex. It might be valuable for you to think about whether there are any potential situations that you feel you would be more or less comfortable in, and discuss these with your partner. Although not all couples find it necessary to do this, some couples feel more comfortable having social "codes" that only the two of them know. Examples might be discreet phrases or gestures which mean one of you is attracted to the people or person he or she is talking to and wants to know if you are interested in swinging with them,  a reply to the above, either affirmatively or negatively, and  one of you is not having a good time and wants to get away from things for a while. 

At off-premises events such as dinners and/or dances, it's common for people to dress up or else wear fairly sexy clothing. Dress at on-premises events tends to be more casual, since nudity is a common outcome of the evening for many. At on-premises clubs it's a good idea to bring something like a robe so you don't have to put all your clothes back on after sex, and to avoid wearing lots of jewellery that might get lost. If there's a dress theme for a particular event, go with the theme. By the way, it is not necessary to actually have sex with other people to have a good time in the swinging community. Off-premises activities such as dances can provide a wonderful opportunity to flirt and be flirted with in a non-threatening yet sexually-charged atmosphere, which can be fun in and of itself. On-premises activities can provide an opportunity to appreciate the sights and sounds of sex as an enhancement to sex with your primary partner, whether you two decide to have sex at the party or after the party. 

Enjoying Swinging with another Couple, House Parties and Other On-Premises Events 

Since you may have the opportunity to get physically close with one or more people during the course of an evening, it's probably a good idea to take a shower, brush your teeth, and (if necessary) shave before showing up. If you like to use your fingers inside your partners as part of sex, don't forget to clip your fingernails short. If at some point during the evening you decide to wash up, be careful not to use somebody else's towel or washcloth on your eyes or genitals.

It's usually polite to make a party reservation rather than just "dropping in", and to cancel your reservation if you can't keep it. For parties in peoples' homes, it's usually polite to ask if there is anything you can bring (e.g. chips or drinks). It is also expected and considered important with on premises events, as with people’s homes, that you respect the area that you are in. Please care for the items on the premises and person’s home overall and treat it as your own. (i.e. don't butt your cigarettes on the carpet.)
Arrive on time, and if you are part of a couple be sure you arrive together as a couple and leave as a couple. Generally the host and/or hostess will fill new couples in about party rules and etiquette, often as part of an orientation to their club or group. The spa or hot tub, if there is one, is a good place to get involved in friendly conversations; most folks at swinging events are more than happy to answer questions and talk about their experience of the lifestyle. It's a good idea for couples to stick together at the party unless they both agree that they'd like to mingle or play separately for a while; if one partner just wanders off, the other may feel abandoned or jealous.
If you DO need to have a serious relationship discussion or argument with your partner, however, it's considered polite to do so away from the party in a more private area. 
In general, if a bedroom or other space is being used for sex it's considered impolite to carry on loud or extraneous conversations in it that might distract others. The tradition at some on-premises clubs, groups and party houses is for one of the larger rooms to be for the "group scene." Depending on the club or group some rules of etiquette may be slightly relaxed here; it might be assumed OK for someone to touch you unless or until you say no.  Again, this completely depends on the club or group. Opening closed doors to bedroom areas and then just staring at whatever is going on is considered pretty rude, and men will have more fun in ANY of the party's play areas if their female partner is with them.

Using alcohol to excess is a poor idea, especially if you or your partner are just getting into swinging. Many non-swingers have their first quasi-swinging experiences when they are heavily intoxicated, and then regret what they did the next day or blame the alcohol for what they freely chose to do; try to make your experience different from this. 

But without question, the most important suggestion we can offer is to always keep track of where you're at, and only do what you want to do. If you don't want to swing with someone, just say no tactfully and courteously. You always have the right to say no to anything, and if someone doesn't take no for an answer you should tell the party host immediately. In swinging, sometimes you will be told, "No, thank you." When this happens, just accept it graciously and don't inquire as to "Why not?" 

The Basics of safe and healthy Swinging:

Put simply, the single most effective thing you can do to stay healthy when swinging is to use latex condoms for intercourse; this practice is now extremely common in the swinging community, and is often expected. All condoms are not made alike; men should experiment with different brands until they find the one they like best. When you put on a condom, pinch its tip as you unroll it (all the way down!) to prevent an air bubble from forming in the reservoir tip. For intercourse, you should then put some water-based lube on the outside of the condom for comfort, mutual pleasure, and to keep the condom from tearing during sex. Some men find that more sensation is transmitted to them if they put a drop of water-based lube in the tip of their condom before putting it on.

Of interest to singles

Singles in swinging is a very hard area to define, some couples love to have a single male or female join them while others consider that swinging should be for couples only. If you are a single male or female please be reassured that there is a place for you in the scene and that some where out there a couple is looking for someone like you to join them. Please be patient.

Above all when you are meeting new couples at a swingers club, group or party please make sure that you speak to both partners to minimise any complications. Once you have established a conversation with both partners first find out if they have ever considered having a single join them in a swinging situation. If the answer is no then accept that in good humour.

If you are placing an advertisement in any form of contact magazine or on-line classified then you will only be meeting couples that are interested in having a single join them. In these cases the most important things to remember are… please be yourself; dress nicely and make sure that you are freshly showered and shaved; be polite. Lastly accept that nothing is certain and the couple always has the right to change their mind at any stage.

Above All... Enjoy Yourself
Most important, have a good time, act out your fantasies (within reason and ensure you have permission), explore your own sexuality and enjoy everything this lifestyle has to offer with enthusiasm, laughter and a positive attitude. You are there to have the best of times and to share the uninhibited enjoyment with those who have discovered a new dimension in their lifestyles. Don't hesitate to introduce yourselves to other people. You'll find them eager to welcome you. Swinging is about having a good time. Live some fantasies, explore your sexuality and enjoy! This lifestyle has plenty to offer with clothes on as well as off. Approach it with a positive attitude and a sense of humour.